


The Goblin Market

by ThisIsNothingLikeDungeonMasteringHelp



Category: Elsewhere University (Webcomic), Goblin Market - Christina Rossetti
Genre: F/F, but it isn't really necessary, go check it out, go read that if you want, good poem tho, not actually based on the webcomic but more of the tumblr blog, retelling of Goblin Market by Christina Rossetti, so like, very weird, which is good shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-05-09 14:15:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14717663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisIsNothingLikeDungeonMasteringHelp/pseuds/ThisIsNothingLikeDungeonMasteringHelp
Summary: Dear, you should not stay so late,Twilight is not good for maidens;Should not loiter in the glenIn the haunts of goblin men.Do you not remember Jeanie,How she met them in the moonlight,Took their gifts both choice and many,Ate their fruits and wore their flowersPluck’d from bowersWhere summer ripens at all hours?But ever in the noonlightShe pined and pined away;Sought them by night and day,Found them no more, but dwindled and grew grey;Then fell with the first snow,While to this day no grass will growWhere she lies low:I planted daisies there a year agoThat never blow.





	The Goblin Market

I met Laura in early May, just at the start of the summer semester. I needed to retake some classes, and she lived on campus year-round. I needed a place to stay, and she had an extra room.

It only took a few weeks before we were sleeping in the same bed.

She was beautiful, in every sense of the word: she had long hair, and a laugh that sounded like church bells (cheesy, I know, but it’s the truth). She was a couple years older than me and so much braver. She walked the labyrinth in the library. She once did a work-study as a campus gardener even though she didn’t have a quest. She gossiped with the Cornerwitch regularly, and she had an impressive collection of teeth from Jimothy. She told me once she saw a Good Neighbor through a mood-ring and didn’t even get cursed. I called bullshit on that story, and still do. No one sees the Gentry and gets away with it. But that was Laura, always safe, no matter what kind of crap she pulled. Until she wasn’t.

We were coming back from grocery shopping, needed to stock up on salt, when we stopped by the Cornerwitch’s corner.

“Hello Cornerwitch,” she said. “Any news?”

The Cornerwitch smoked her cigarette and did not answer.

“Alright, then.” Laura sounded amused, like this was a game. “What do I have to give you for the juicy stuff?”

The Cornerwitch and I made eye contact, just for a second, before she looked at Laura; “An introduction.”

“Oh sure thing. This is Lizzie.” Laura gestured to me, ignoring my protests about just telling anyone my alias. “Now, dish.”

If the Cornerwitch had pupils, I’m sure we would’ve seen her roll her eyes.

“A girl named Jeanie went to the Goblin Market, and ate some fruit. The funeral was yesterday.” Smoke poured from her mouth as she talked.

“That’s awful,” I said. “How could anyone be so stupid?”

 

Laura was quiet the whole walk home.

 

If you don’t know what the Goblin Market is, good, you don’t want to know, stop reading here and don’t go looking for it. If you must know, the Goblin Market is where you can buy anything and sell anything. The only thing you should never, ever do is eat the food. It’s one of the first things you learn on campus: don’t tell anyone your true name, always carry iron and salt with you, and if a Good Neighbor offers you food, you don’t eat it. Laura considered it her next challenge.

The very next full moon, she left the apartment while I was sleeping and ate some of the goblin fruit. She was back by morning, safe and sound. She told me all about it, how beautiful everything looked under the full moon, how the fruit had only cost her a little bit of her hair, how good the fruit was. She claimed it was better than anything I could imagine and that she hadn’t stopped thinking about the fruit since her first bite. I was understandably worried, but she had come back to me and that was all that mattered.

For about a week everything was normal. Then Laura started going back to the round-about where she claimed the Goblin Market had been. She took me with her once, and I saw how she looked at that stupid little circle of grass. Not even as big as our living/dining room and she looked at it like it was the most beautiful thing in the world. I never went back with her to the round-about.

The next week she was distracted, I had to repeat things over and over, and even then she never listened. She stopped helping with the dishes and the laundry. We didn’t argue over what to make for dinner, we didn’t sing shitty pop songs, and we certainly didn’t sleep in the same room anymore. I didn’t notice until the day of the half moon, but her hair was turning grey.

The third week, she stopped eating. She didn’t leave the apartment, she didn’t speak, just sat there and looked at nothing. I tried getting her to talk to me, to drink something, to shower, to do anything, but she never once looked at me. I don’t think she even knew I was there. She was lost in her own mind, dreaming of that perfect fruit.

The very next full moon, I left the apartment while Laura should’ve been sleeping. I made my way to the round-about, no flashlight, no phone, just the moon and I. I had brought a small silver ring with me, for payment. When I reached the round-about, I would have thought I lost my mind, if I wasn’t already used to the University’s tricks. Where there should have been a small circle of browning grass, was a bustling village of stalls and kiosks and shadows. It looked exactly like what you expect a Goblin Market would look like. I stood there, unsure where to start, until I heard a faint cry.

“Come buy, come buy! Come buy our orchard fruits!”

I followed the sound, ignored every witch and warlock, every shadow person and fae, I think I saw Jimothy, but I didn’t stop to check. I just followed that noise those little bastards that took Laura from me where making.

“Come buy, come buy!”

I found them on the far side of the market; short, little creatures with fruit bat faces and plates and baskets piled high with every kind of fruit I had ever seen or heard of, and a hell of a lot more that I hadn’t. Every single one was perfectly ripe and unblemished. They saw me approaching and focused their sales pitch on me.

“Come buy! We’ve fruits like you’ve never tasted, as many as you want. Only ever harvested at peek ripeness, they’re even organic, if that’s your thing! And dirt cheap to boot!”

“Actually,” I said, taking off my silver ring. “I just need one.” I handed my ring to the one closest to me and took an apricot off his plate. The goblins stopped talking for a heartbeat, apparently stunned.

“But wouldn’t you like a whole feast? Pretty little ring like that will get you all you can eat.”

“No thanks, it’s actually not for me, it’s for a friend of mine.” Their unsettling little grins slid off their faces and turned to scowls. Clawed little hands grabbed at my jeans and my sweatshirt. One grabbed my arms and tried to hold them in place. Others took their fruit and started throwing them in my face. I kept my mouth shut tight and started throwing elbows. They poked and scratched, one bit me hard on the leg and drew blood but I kept my mouth shut. Didn’t make a noise. A perfect cherry hit me just above the eye and burst, trickling sickly sweet juice down my face and across my lips. Pomegranate seeds bounced against my mouth and I kept my lips sealed. Not a single drop of juice or fleck of rind touched my teeth. By the time they gave up and threw my ring back at my feet in disgust, I was covered head to toe in juice and pulp. I picked up my ring and went back home.

I made it back not five minutes after I had left. I thought it probably should have been longer, but that’s Elsewhere U. for you. I walked right up to Laura and she looked at me for the first time in a week.

“I was going to bring you a fruit but I got into a bit of a food fight instead,” I joked, trying to downplay how uncomfortable my sticky clothes were.

“Oh my god.” Laura’s voice sounded old. “You didn’t eat any did you? Oh god, please tell me you’re not gonna end up like me.” I laughed at that.

“Nope, kept my mouth closed the entire time.” I bent down until I was face level with her and even though I knew it was coming, her kiss took me by surprise. Laura leaned back, licking her lips and promptly fainted.

I stayed up all night just making sure she was breathing. I didn’t change my clothes or leave the room. I dozed off around six in the morning and woke up to long hair, no longer grey, and a laugh like church bells.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, there it is, hope you enjoyed my first fic. Check out Elsewhere University on tumblr, and go read a weird poem. Or don't, I'm not the boss of you.


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